Random Magic D120 Garlic Variety Pack
Looking for a little chaos in your life? In honor of chaotic-neutral D&D gameplay and the beauty of (usually D100) random magic effects, I'll roll a D120 die set from my D&D bag (1d6, then 1d20), and I'll make up a variety pack based on how the dice roll (each garlic variety has been assigned a number on a custom d120 table I've made). The only guarantee is that the Large will be a total of 2.5 pounds of garlic, and the Small will be 1.5 pounds of garlic. Actually, a second guarantee is that the garlic will be good. And I don't plan on going back and editing that earlier sentence. And I won't get rid of this metacommentary about the earlier sentences either.
The Large Pack (2.5 pounds total) will have 6-8 varieties
The Small Pack (1.5 pounds total) will have 4-5 varieties
That is roughly a third of a pound apiece, but will vary by variety and box to box.
There's no telling which garlics will be in there. There's also no telling how life on Earth will end, or if there is objective meaning to reality, or if we create meaning by finding joy in the laws of physics.
These are cheaper than my other packs because they're so darn fun to pack...I get to run a quick D&D sesh in my garlic packing shed. Following the (deeply flawed, yet still somewhat predictive) assumptions of homo economicus thinking, I am willing to forgo a few dollars of income for the serotonin this activity provides, thus Chaos packs are the lowest priced variety packs I sell!
Buy the chaos pack, embrace the quantum.
Inspired by my first D&D character, a chaotic neutral Gnome rogue whose favorite weapon was a crossbow with bolts doped with D100 random magic potion. Successfully turned a dangerous sand dragon into an existentially confused fire elemental, teleported dangerous bosses to other realms, and may have also struck my party with lightning strikes and distressing polymorphic effects and unscheduled multiplanal subadventures every once in a while.