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Random Magic D120 Garlic Variety Pack
Random Magic D120 Garlic Variety Pack

Random Magic D120 Garlic Variety Pack

Regular price $36.00 Sale

Looking for a little chaos in your life? In honor of chaotic-neutral DnD gameplay and the beauty of (usually D100) random magic effects, I'll roll a D120 die set from my DnD bag (1d6, then 1d20), and I'll make up a sampler pack of at least 6 types based on how the dice roll (each garlic variety will be assigned a number on a custom d120 table I've made). The only guarantee is that the Large will be a total of 2.5 pounds of garlic, the Small will be 1.5 pounds of garlic. Actually, a second guarantee is that the garlic will be good. And I don't plan on going back and editing that earlier sentence. And I won't get rid of this metacommentary about the earlier sentences either. 

The Large Pack (2.5 pounds total) will have 6-8 varieties

The Small Pack (1.5 pounds total) will have 4-5 varieties

That is *roughly* a third of a pound, apiece, but will vary by variety and box to box.

There's no telling which garlics will be in there. There's also no telling how life on Earth will end, or if there is objective meaning to reality, or if we create meaning by finding joy in the laws of physics.

These are cheaper than my other packs because they're so darn fun to pack...I get to run a quick DnD sesh in my garlic packing shed. Following the (deeply flawed) assumptions of homo economicus thinking, I am willing to forgo a few dollars of income for the serotonin this activity provides.

Buy the chaos pack, embrace the quantum.

Inspired by my first DnD character, a chaotic neutral Gnome rogue whose favorite weapon was a crossbow with bolts doped with D100 random magic potion. Successfully turned a dangerous sand dragon into an existentially confused fire elemental, teleported dangerous bosses to other realms, and may have also struck my party with lightning strikes and distressing polymorphic effects and multiplanal subadventures every once in a while.

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